Obituary: Zsa Zsa Gabor

February 6, 1917–soon enough

ZsaZsaGaborZsa Zsa Gabor: Obnoxious Eastern-Eurotrash who eked out a minor living by playing women of a higher class than herself. When not trying to slap patrolmen into submission, she could be found on trial for having slapped them. Just another poodle-carrying no-brain, who, through some great defeat of logic, somehow thought she was better than others despite evidence that should have prompted an inferiority complex.

Other interesting facts about Zsa Zsa Gabor:

  • She was the best actress of the Gabor sisters. No, wait, she was the third best. My mistake.
  • Of all the actresses to come out of Hungary, she had the longest nails.
  • Didn’t she play “Arnold” on Green Acres?
  • Zsa Zsa Gabor had the curious habit of letting her precious poodle run up and down airplane aisles.