Charlie Sheen experiences ‘totally normal day’

NEW YORK — Charlie Sheen’s personal assistant was hospitalized Thursday after police were called to the hotel room of his employer, star of Anger Management and the Major League films.

A spokesperson for New York Presbyterian Hospital stated that the personal assistant was treated for shock, after suffering a seizure while witnessing actor Charlie Sheen experience a “totally normal day.”



Charlie Sheen was reportedly “normal” for a full 24 hours.

Sheen’s publicist claimed that the assistant experienced an allergic reaction to the mundane and ordinary, when Charlie Sheen spent almost 24 hours acting like a reasonable human being.

This unusual day began Wednesday morning at 1:30 a.m. Charlie Sheen had taken his cousin to a Broadway play, dropped her off and then returned to his accommodations at the Plaza Hotel. The assistant realized that Sheen was not drunk or high on drugs, and was not in the company of a prostitute or porn star. “The assistant was scared and unnerved, as anyone would be in such a situation,” the publicist said.

At first, the assistant just shrugged it off as “just one of those things,” and tried to get some much-needed sleep. It was difficult, the publicist reported, as Sheen’s personal assistant is not used to sleeping soundly and is accustomed to drug-addled ranting and raving and plenty of “frantic scratching at the walls and doors.”

Wednesday morning, Sheen’s sanity continued when Sheen woke before 8 a.m. and had breakfast. He read the paper, took his own phone calls and answered emails. At this point, Sheen’s assistant began trembling fiercely; when he began to froth at the mouth, his boss, Charlie Sheen, promptly called 911 and rendered assistance until paramedics arrived.

The publicist said that Sheen would not be available for comment, as he was attending at the bedside of his assistant.




Charlie Sheen’s personal assistant, shocked by his employer’s nonstop sanity, began to froth at the mouth in a manner similar to this dog.